The Great Conjunction— Jupiter and Saturn.

Photo credit: Paula Fonsesca

Although the year 2020 is history in itself; a year packed with dramatic events and shifts to our collective consciousness, making the past seem so foreign, as if from a whole other forgotten dimension.

In the process, existential values have been honed, gratefulness has become our inner solace, and inner discovery allowed us to see beyond ourselves—in this case, a celestial world celebrating the new era of our time.
A unique celebration of two planets conjunction—Saturn and Jupiter; the Great conjunction in the age of Aquarius. Ornamenting the sky like a pair of cherries— the closest they have been so far.

And since double cherries grow under a lot of stress; due to cherry trees being under tough conditions—from early exposure to heat, to being less exposed to water. Similar to the stressful year of 2020, yet resulting with a fruitful delicacy of taste and appearance seen in a unique Celestial communication over the darkened Earth sky.

Tanka:

It has been a year—
Of dramatic shift to life
Like a birthday cake;
Over baked under high heat
Then topped with sweet cherry pair.

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The Two Faces of a Coin; Love and Relationship.

Art by Ksenija Pronina

A healthy relationship, according to my own definition is that which does not feel like the involved people are operating from their “shadow fronts” rather than from their “authentic fronts”. In other words, those who are self-aware rather than self-conscious. Who still do their best, without coming off insensitive. Who have a healthy moral compass.

A relationship should feel like a safe place of exchange; where thoughts, emotions, and preferences are communicated safely and without having to feel scared or humiliated. A skillful approach is vital in communicating ones own needs and thoughts. It should not hurt the person or others.

Space and time work best for the clarity of mind and heart. It is meant to communicate to the other that there are no attachment issues in order for trust to prevail.

Although having space and time is important, they also don’t mean that it is a form of mind game or done to make the other person feel weak, or needy, or even to test someone’s love or affection.
It means accepting that things must take time, and rushing into sex or into something too intimate might not feel right or worth it in the future. So, one must really know who they are dealing with. Even if it wasn’t intended as a romantic relationship.
Knowing that respect is everything in all relationships, and to be treated with unconditional care if not with unconditional love.

To also be human, but not a humiliating or demeaning one.
To tame down the ego, and to never come off as needy, desperate, or selfish.
Selfishness is a disease. It originates from the ego’s despair for not believing one is worthy enough or good enough. So they become so feisty, and want to do anything to convince their ego that they are worth it in an unhealthy way, and it is mostly instinctive such as: greed in food, sex, time, and money in the form of addiction.

A healthy relationship means the person cares about their decent image thus say what they mean and mean what they say. They are simply reliable.

They can make mistakes, but are okay to apologize sincerely, without having to excessively show they are sorry, or to keep bringing up the resolved subject.

Who also don’t make you feel like you are too much, and your pain is small. Who don’t raise their voice to silence or to shut your pain down.
Who love and respect your vulnerability. Because they are safe at feeling vulnerable too.

Who get it when you are nice because you choose to be nice to them, not because you are sexually attracted. In other words, they can distinguish between your true colors, and their own lens—an instinctive projection.

Love grows without feeling pressured, or guilty for choosing oneself, when it is done in a specific pleasant manner.
Love does not make the other person lie about who they are, or try to change the other person’s reality when the person actually loves and feels safe in their own reality, even if it is (so) different.

Love doesn’t fear to lose the person but it is careful of not losing the person, consistently, and not for selfish reasons.

When in a relationship, give and take flows naturally, and it isn’t meant to boost egos or to win approval, neither a competition.

And in order to be satisfied in a relationship, one must have the freedom of choice in which they can be themselves, which at its best form, comes from their safest childlike and higher self place.

For those with immature qualities, mistake it with being vulnerable. While it is the unhealed aspects from their childhood or past, which in return, activates it in others with whom they encounter. And for those with vulnerable qualities, they feel safe at being healed, feel free to be open to experience, and don’t have to please everyone. But to keep monitoring themselves, all the time.

Love and relationship are the two sides of the same hard coin, one side will always affect the other, or represent the other, as well as the people involved.

This is my take on the psychological dynamic of love and relationship, since these two literally govern our lives, but we always have the power and it is in our right to rule in or to rule out what brings meaning, or what brings distress to our lives. Because what matters the most is our peace of mind, in order to feel and be more productive in life.

* This was an excerpt from my diaries.

Have a lovely day!

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Modern Crowdedness

View Master 3-D viewer (stimulation toy/machine)

Falling into the spiraling loop of nostalgia is like getting no where in actual reality. I realized the burden of the modern world when I saw photos and heard songs of people along the timeline of the past 30 years or so. These were school-year photos; old schools with children dressed in memorable school uniforms—which I had to wear too. And many other emotionally impacted objects such as toys, phones, drinks, places, candies, cartoons, TV shows and humble restaurants.

Life looked great back then. Although I was born in the very early 90s, I still consider myself very fortunate to have witnessed, and especially for having felt the atmosphere of the real life, what we now refer to the Golden past.

Old is not just gold, but one that we must keep in safe storage. Which in many cases, people are doing, and I am grateful for their fondness of preserving the beauty of the past and popularizing its dominant existence that once used to be.That is, everything we enjoyed before the year 2000.

In my own experience of going over documented memories, I had a feel for the past.With an instant rush of belonging traveling through my being, as I wished the 80’s were only a button away. Click, and I’m there. But, certainly this, time does not allow. For time is in a constant race with itself, while we are also racing with it. Yet most of us are running towards the future while also peeking at the past, throughout the whole process of running.

There is something truly endearing about the way people dressed, the quality of the photos taken at the time, the simplicity of the roads and places, and the spontaneity of life of the 70s until the 90s. life felt much more meaningful and exciting. Enthusiasm felt more natural among the people, and the contentment of the present moment had a more natural flow to it.

While modernity is very crowded; as it seems as though everything and everyone is lost somewhere in a crowd, for depth is the key word here. The modern life has exhausted our simplistic needs from nature, and in the process, humans exhausted nature. And although the modern day slogan calls us to delve deep into the inner world—the self, it seems that this must mean to return to our human nature, or to get out of it and be prepared for a celestial mission or such.

In both ways, diving deep is a valuable quality to have, but are we only going further from the simplicity of nature, while having to understand our human nature? And, instead of being able to travel to the past, are we aiming to leave the Earth and explore life in the outer space?

I think this is an inevitable mental and emotional process to go through—-in which for every generation of 30 years and above, will notice how fast life is moving. And how there is always more pleasure in the way life used to be. For although the past can be quite painful to remember, it can also represent aspects of gratefulness that our hearts will forever cherish, as we actually do for our present moment over the many things to be grateful for, well, until this becomes a past too.

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Night Dream World

Art by Aykut Aydogdu

What a dream, I saw my past packed in one stream

Of flooding memories that were left untouched

Always left at the same place where my fragmented pieces were for them to deem

In my sleep I have the key to access those memories

Where I still have questions unanswered, with pains that were destined to be buried; either my fragments or them.

I saw clowns thriving on the grass of prosperity, and victims trying to pave their rejected ways among the harsh.

Though in a dream, what could be impossible, if everything the heart misses or wishes is accessible.

They deceived some of our innocence; while they carried around the honor of adulting. As if their excuse is a wisdom guarantee, while for the children, it is their trapping destiny.

But this child’s reality, is a new world for the child to keep getting in, forever in their minds until growing. Some places are meant to be visited in reality, to finally resolve while their eyes are open, rather than a germ that keeps infesting their dreams.

A family is not always there to protect, they are likely to be adults in wolf skin, unbothered to replace it with a sheep’s one; as what could a child really know about reality?

Dreams do relieve what is hidden, yet they are also called dreams for a reason; to resolve pain, or to wish for something better.

Written by: Farah A.Y

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Behind the Window Glass

Art by Claire Kayser “ Red Booth”

Across the oblique road corner from where I was placed on the diner seat, suffocating in the spiciness of the meal,
I jerked my hand to someone outside the window glass,
Thinking it was you!
All I wanted you to know is that I was still there, in case you were able to make it today before Sunday!
I fell captive in a momentary urge that caught me in the most unprolific substantial tendency of waving my hand to someone I thought I knew.
I assume Halloween was still predominant in the air; playing tricks on the mind.
But she looked like you; the width of shoulders and hair, with almost the same face.
I whispered words to myself, that only I could hear.
I think she knew I was mistaken, but I was still excited to see her!
She left with someone else, the last thing I saw was a little smile in her eyes… she grew further and further away, but your spirit was still all around me.

Written by Farah A.Y

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The Energy of Times

Art by Freydoon Rassouli

Through the passage of time’s memory
The universe declares all sensory
By the means of energetic spectrum
Along the chronology of wisdom
For the liveliness of its lucid mass
Materializing like transparent glass
Thereby an intense profusion of guise
Tinting sundry colours into the eyes
While embodying magnetism in display
Through its penetrating, cryptic way
In all things; among darkness and daylight
Hence pure quiddity resides at its might
The sublime source of Energy’s empire
Alternating between both ice and fire.

Poem by Farah A.Y

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Space Family

As life formation began in space, with theory of relativity to put it all in place
From Mercury to Neptune, in opposite ways
Running circles in an endless race
As each has a separate phase
Of various states, weights, and rates
More like siblings, relatives, and mates
Grounded by the holy Sun’s grace;
With a Moon celebrating Earth’s face
Inspiring the night as it sings and plays
To evoke the essence of all Earth’s waves
Like emotions, weathers, nights and days
The family of space recites all fates
abiding to the law of time and dates
As space history to time relates
In the Milky Way of our Earth’s case

Poetry by Farah A.Y

Space Family

I will share my belief on what a space family is:

Since the Sun of our Solar system is the source of life, the igniter, the stabilizing force of life. in other words, the father of our solar system, it is the light that we are in constant need of reaching, and achieving throughout our life’s endeavors. This has been the case since ancient philosophies and civilizations; stating that the Sun is the source of life, a Devine power—a deity.

Earth is not a lonely planet. Earth has siblings, and relatives. There is a whole history (tree) of planetary family in the vast space.

The moon is equivalent to the mother figure. A source of inspiration, that stirs up the essence of life’s waves, causing change, birth and rebirth. The moon is the mother of our earth; she watches over the earth at night, and she controls the Earth’s cries through its influence on sea and ocean tides.

The other planets surrounding the Earth are important in keeping each other in balance. As siblings proving support for one another.

The story of our Universe is the story of our lives. We are only replicating the stories decoded in our genes out into our visible world . We are designed to do it in that sense. Besides the Darwinian Theory, which adds to making us social beings.

Thank you!

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Journey of the Soul of a Pearl

The soul’s engulfment in the shell of life

Brings to mind a wall of stones;

The toughness of its surface, the finesse of its core

For pearl is sheltered through its dismay of strife

The journey of a pearl begins on a sandy dune

Where castles and realms are built around its shore

With chambers that trail ancient footsteps

Such beauty to admire in a myriad of tones

Hence lessons to aspire; and to kindle the lore

Of filtrated ruins, amid bygone sea steps

With gentle recitals of stories untold

By sirens enticing love and lure

In the heart of every wandering soul

As the journey of life is one and for all

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The Mindspin

I thought I was still good at stretching down my legs, to their maximum capacity. I know I could when I was around the age of eight. But, not any more. It has certainly advanced, well, into a mental stretch that takes in the form of a spin. It no longer involves my body, only my mind. And, I kept feeding into this quality, many different things. I say things; because they are indeed, only just things.

This baseline of my experience is the pole that sets the stage for my mental dance. Like a Ballerina who is anxiously happy during the continuous clapping of an audience over her victory. Or, in the way a piece of chocolate dissolves so sweetly in my mouth, while my tongue cradles this sweet taste. For when the piece is there, it only requires me to situate it correctly.

And in between every other hour, life destroys that flavor. It isn’t really life, but it’s what makes life, life. Which diminishes the sweetness eventually. That is, mostly to do with, other worldly rotations taking place in the form of becoming, or in the process of walking down the path of familiarity; a road often taken, but very little understood.

In some mornings, reality is as atrocious as feeling suspended from the motion of life, of existence, and of the circulation of the biological forces within the body. Leaving it to reality to make it up for the mind; for why should we spin along the rotation of our earth (unconsciously) while mentally spinning in our heads (consciously and unconsciously), is not always a helpful thing?’

Aren’t we but thoughts roaming around on this earth? Aren’t we made of lessons, experiences, and especially of feelings—to formalize and color such findings?

In other mornings, the mental spins of others are louder than the sound of one’s own breath. So much so that it infests like a spider’s web—that builds up slowly, yet orderly and tightly into each of our tranquil streams. As for me, when my siege gets broken, its scattered pieces become painful pins thrown at me and against my own will.

The only consistent aspect of it all is that we are but a bundle of a spinning life, a rotation within another rotation. In an endless loop of spinning thoughts. This mixture is vital for generating us with potentials that result from chaos and order. It is a never-ending process of rediscovering the question of ‘what could happen next?’

Throughout the nights, the mind is at refuge—peaceful but unpromising. hopeful, but undeniable of its long day of loss, joy, or trouble. But, what difference does it make when the night approaches? As the earth will still spin, and the dynamic of life will continue on. We must permit ourselves to blend in with ourselves first, colorfully, then apply that to our understandings of the complexity in both chaos and order. Also, by letting the infusion of these colliding forces set in, so that we could beget the brushes needed for our painted spins, and to submit to our inner life which is obeyed by the outer forces of life.

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