Tankas

The Magic of a Winter’s Atmosphere

Photo credit: Millennielle

Winter’s atmosphere
Illuminates the soul’s eyes;
Intense and bright hues
Of such calm seasonal face
A Mystical feel to life.

The Cycle of Life

Art by Adam Elsheimer

The start or the end
Oh how a lot of them are!
A constant rebirth;
For all things like: birth and death
The natural cycle of soul

Flowers Dance with the Wind

What more ethereal
Than a morning flower dance
To songs of nature
With wintery dew and wind;
Nature’s vocation to sync

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The Two Faces of a Coin; Love and Relationship.

Art by Ksenija Pronina

A healthy relationship, according to my own definition is that which does not feel like the involved people are operating from their “shadow fronts” rather than from their “authentic fronts”. In other words, those who are self-aware rather than self-conscious. Who still do their best, without coming off insensitive. Who have a healthy moral compass.

A relationship should feel like a safe place of exchange; where thoughts, emotions, and preferences are communicated safely and without having to feel scared or humiliated. A skillful approach is vital in communicating ones own needs and thoughts. It should not hurt the person or others.

Space and time work best for the clarity of mind and heart. It is meant to communicate to the other that there are no attachment issues in order for trust to prevail.

Although having space and time is important, they also don’t mean that it is a form of mind game or done to make the other person feel weak, or needy, or even to test someone’s love or affection.
It means accepting that things must take time, and rushing into sex or into something too intimate might not feel right or worth it in the future. So, one must really know who they are dealing with. Even if it wasn’t intended as a romantic relationship.
Knowing that respect is everything in all relationships, and to be treated with unconditional care if not with unconditional love.

To also be human, but not a humiliating or demeaning one.
To tame down the ego, and to never come off as needy, desperate, or selfish.
Selfishness is a disease. It originates from the ego’s despair for not believing one is worthy enough or good enough. So they become so feisty, and want to do anything to convince their ego that they are worth it in an unhealthy way, and it is mostly instinctive such as: greed in food, sex, time, and money in the form of addiction.

A healthy relationship means the person cares about their decent image thus say what they mean and mean what they say. They are simply reliable.

They can make mistakes, but are okay to apologize sincerely, without having to excessively show they are sorry, or to keep bringing up the resolved subject.

Who also don’t make you feel like you are too much, and your pain is small. Who don’t raise their voice to silence or to shut your pain down.
Who love and respect your vulnerability. Because they are safe at feeling vulnerable too.

Who get it when you are nice because you choose to be nice to them, not because you are sexually attracted. In other words, they can distinguish between your true colors, and their own lens—an instinctive projection.

Love grows without feeling pressured, or guilty for choosing oneself, when it is done in a specific pleasant manner.
Love does not make the other person lie about who they are, or try to change the other person’s reality when the person actually loves and feels safe in their own reality, even if it is (so) different.

Love doesn’t fear to lose the person but it is careful of not losing the person, consistently, and not for selfish reasons.

When in a relationship, give and take flows naturally, and it isn’t meant to boost egos or to win approval, neither a competition.

And in order to be satisfied in a relationship, one must have the freedom of choice in which they can be themselves, which at its best form, comes from their safest childlike and higher self place.

For those with immature qualities, mistake it with being vulnerable. While it is the unhealed aspects from their childhood or past, which in return, activates it in others with whom they encounter. And for those with vulnerable qualities, they feel safe at being healed, feel free to be open to experience, and don’t have to please everyone. But to keep monitoring themselves, all the time.

Love and relationship are the two sides of the same hard coin, one side will always affect the other, or represent the other, as well as the people involved.

This is my take on the psychological dynamic of love and relationship, since these two literally govern our lives, but we always have the power and it is in our right to rule in or to rule out what brings meaning, or what brings distress to our lives. Because what matters the most is our peace of mind, in order to feel and be more productive in life.

* This was an excerpt from my diaries.

Have a lovely day!

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The Mindspin

I thought I was still good at stretching down my legs, to their maximum capacity. I know I could when I was around the age of eight. But, not any more. It has certainly advanced, well, into a mental stretch that takes in the form of a spin. It no longer involves my body, only my mind. And, I kept feeding into this quality, many different things. I say things; because they are indeed, only just things.

This baseline of my experience is the pole that sets the stage for my mental dance. Like a Ballerina who is anxiously happy during the continuous clapping of an audience over her victory. Or, in the way a piece of chocolate dissolves so sweetly in my mouth, while my tongue cradles this sweet taste. For when the piece is there, it only requires me to situate it correctly.

And in between every other hour, life destroys that flavor. It isn’t really life, but it’s what makes life, life. Which diminishes the sweetness eventually. That is, mostly to do with, other worldly rotations taking place in the form of becoming, or in the process of walking down the path of familiarity; a road often taken, but very little understood.

In some mornings, reality is as atrocious as feeling suspended from the motion of life, of existence, and of the circulation of the biological forces within the body. Leaving it to reality to make it up for the mind; for why should we spin along the rotation of our earth (unconsciously) while mentally spinning in our heads (consciously and unconsciously), is not always a helpful thing?’

Aren’t we but thoughts roaming around on this earth? Aren’t we made of lessons, experiences, and especially of feelings—to formalize and color such findings?

In other mornings, the mental spins of others are louder than the sound of one’s own breath. So much so that it infests like a spider’s web—that builds up slowly, yet orderly and tightly into each of our tranquil streams. As for me, when my siege gets broken, its scattered pieces become painful pins thrown at me and against my own will.

The only consistent aspect of it all is that we are but a bundle of a spinning life, a rotation within another rotation. In an endless loop of spinning thoughts. This mixture is vital for generating us with potentials that result from chaos and order. It is a never-ending process of rediscovering the question of ‘what could happen next?’

Throughout the nights, the mind is at refuge—peaceful but unpromising. hopeful, but undeniable of its long day of loss, joy, or trouble. But, what difference does it make when the night approaches? As the earth will still spin, and the dynamic of life will continue on. We must permit ourselves to blend in with ourselves first, colorfully, then apply that to our understandings of the complexity in both chaos and order. Also, by letting the infusion of these colliding forces set in, so that we could beget the brushes needed for our painted spins, and to submit to our inner life which is obeyed by the outer forces of life.

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